Your Co-Workers Aren't Kids and 5 Other Reasons Why Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom Isn't As Easy As It Sounds

So, last night my best gal pal here in Denver and I got a ladies night out: No hubbies and no kids, but a glass of wine and a Broadway show.  It was fantastic and oh-so-surreal.  I just couldn't help but think as the theater lights went dim signaling the start of the show at 8 p.m. that in my "other" life I'd be encouraging someone small to go to the bathroom one last time, brushing teeth, and filling sippy cups of water.  I looked around at the auditorium and thought, "Wow.  People actually live like this on a regular basis.  They stay out past 7 p.m.  They dress up.  They're cool."

But that's not really the point of this posting.  The point actually comes from a brief conversation I had with my BFF's husband while said BFF was running around before we left making sure a particularly small little person was tucked into bed and the monitor was working.  The new TV show, "Up All Night" was playing in the background.  We started to talk about just how true to life this show was for us at this phase of our life.

Me: "So, you ready to be left alone with Carly all night?" (This girly girl is more than overly attached to her mom, just like Eva, and has been known to scream bloody murder for what seems like an inhuman length of time until mom walks in the door.)

BFF's hubby: "Yeah, I guess.  She's really tired tonight so I'm hoping she'll sleep.  It's been a rough day for Jaime.  Owen pooped his pants again today and he just can't seem to get it together..."

(This little guy was previously pretty much potty trained until his new sis arrived 3 months ago.)

Just then Owen pops around the ottoman wearing nothing but a shirt, one sock, and one rainboot.  "Hi Angie!" he says with a smile.

BFF's hubby continues: "I definitely think that sometimes we as the husbands have it easy.  Sure, we work all day but you guys have to deal with all of this."

Wait.  Can I get that on audio tape?

Soon, BFF is back around the corner and it's time to take off.  Which, of course, is met with weeping and gnashing of teeth by Owen.  In the silence of the car, BFF starts to tell me about the day.  It's been a long one, and there could be no better night for a night out than this one.

Fast-forward a few hours, and I find myself driving home after our short vacation at the theater at an incredibly late hour for this stay-at-home-mom (10:45 p.m.).  I was thinking about all the conversations Sean and I have had over the past few years when we start to bicker about who works harder.  Up for continual grab is the fact that one said participant hardly thinks it's "work" to spend a morning at the park with small children and other moms.  Or that the "freedom" to take a nap whenever we want (HA!) is something a regular 9-5er could never fathom.  So to that, I offer a small glimpse of things that perhaps you take for granted on a daily basis while you're doing "the grind."  Gentleman, read 'em and weep:

Your Co-Workers Aren't Kids and 5 Other Reasons Why Being a Stay-At-Home Mom  Isn't As Easy As It Sounds:

1. You can tell someone "no" and their response (typically) doesn't include screaming, crying, hitting, kicking the door or wall or writhing in imaginary pain on the floor.

2. Everyone around you may be sick, but chances are slim that you have their snot on your shirt.

3. You get to go to the bathroom alone.  And if, by chance, someone else happens to walk in while you're using the facilities, the odds are good that your conversation won't entail questions like, "Why does that come out of there?"

4.  You can have an uninterrupted phone conversation without the person on the other end of the line asking you every 5 minutes if everything is ok on your end or if you need to go.

5.  You eat lunch.  Everyday.  Sitting down.  
 
I'm sure I could go on, but you get the point.  And yes, darling husbands, I get it--you really are met with a whole 'nother set of stressors that we SAHM's don't have to deal with.   And yes, you do have the pressure of making sure we have a roof over our head and food on our table.  For that, and I think I speak for myself as well as loads of other moms who are home day in and day out with the kids, we really are grateful.  After all, deep down, most of the women in my circle these days wouldn't trade a quiet, calm lunch for being able to wipe a nose when needed or to give a hug when life hands out a hurt of any kind.  And I'm also grateful that for the most part, after living this life for a couple of years now, a lot of the men I know who are also dad's get it.  It's work either way--at the office or at home.  No one's role is less important than the other.  But I just couldn't help offering this small reminder...